is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
