exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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