I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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