loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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