Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize