the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize