If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
