I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
