I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
accomplished twins. life is a go
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
