i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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