its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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