I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
