WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize