i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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