Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need a beard to bite.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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