This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
