Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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