he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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