we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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