My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
