how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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