I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
youre lurking in front of me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
