i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
