You can't motorboat a personality
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
