6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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