Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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