I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I pour the whiskey from now on
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
