We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
