I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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