I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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