So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
