If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My feet surprised me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
