it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
