I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
