I molested 6 butterflies tonight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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