i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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