Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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