areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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