If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
