cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
