i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
