we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
