Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
