i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
