it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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