I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
420 ftw
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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