Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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