nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
