I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
