It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
