Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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