pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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