The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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