Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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