I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
