and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize