I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
