i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
