just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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