If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
