I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
