You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
