He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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