i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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