and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize