she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
