Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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