Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
